Man, it’s been a busy week. After the “nightmare” that was the move day, we’ve been hauling boxes the last couple of days. On Thursday I re-organized most of the storage units (to the tune of 12,000 pounds of boxes) and on Friday we completed the task. Horray! We now have all of our boxes and stuff (i.e. bikes) in one 10×20 unit–we originally had a 10×20 and a 10×15. All together our move was 14,500 pounds–about 550 pieces. If I never see another carton it will be too soon.

I have to plug North American Van Lines. It wasn’t cheap to move from Chicago to Austin, but every step was handled well. Our poor driver, Lou, was a saint. Trust me, if anything could go wrong, it did, but he was cool through the whole process. If you are looking to move stuff a long way, go with North American. Money very well spent. I highly recommend them.

So what happened on our move day, you ask? Well, it started out well. The local guys (2) and the truck got here on-time–around 9 AM. When I say truck, I don’t mean some U-Haul moving van–I mean a full size semi–80,0000 pounds worth. This is not a kiddie toy. They unloaded the furniture (for the apartment) without a problem–the problem was when the truck was trying to exit.

You see, we have two driveways at the apartment complex. One is more steep than the other. The “exit” is the steep one. Well, when Lou was trying to exit (in the pouring rain, I might add) he got stuck on the exit. And I mean stuck. Tracker’s wheels off the ground stuck. No grip because of the rain. We tried boards. We tried metal ties. Too slick.

A guy who has been doing telecom work in the area (and had a back-hoe) offered to help. He hitched up the back of the truck and put his Deere in 1st gear. Get ready for a tractor pull! He put everything he could, but couldn’t budge the semi. (Remember, it had about 30 TONS on board.) It was a sight to see, but he couldn’t even make it move an inch. Regardless, I give it to the Texans–a half dozen guys were trying to help out–just to help. Very nice.

Oh, during all this the Austin cops showed up. They took over traffic control from Evelyn–and got so pissed off by annoying drivers that they shut down the whole damn road. (Semi was blocking a lane.) Gotta say, I’m happy with the Austin cops. They were getting a kick out of it.

So, tractor and trailer are stuck. Big-ass Deere back-hoe can’t move it. But, a call is in to “The Wrecker”.

The Wrecker is a tow truck. On Viagra. This is the biggest tow truck you have ever seen. This is a tow truck that can tow 100,000 pounds. This is a truck that can pull a building off its foundation. This is not a toy.

The Wrecker pulls off it’s 1 1/2 inch steel cable. Hooks it to the back of the semi. Then, just because it’s a bad ass, it digs in some support into the asphalt.

Then it begins to pull.

At first it groans–then the supports grind into the ground–then the 80,000 pounds of semi move–scraping the ground.

This is one bad-ass truck.

(As an aside, this is why the human race, for all its fuck-ups, is wonderful. Just take a look at the machines that we meat puppets have put together. Pretty damn amazing. This is one  of the reasons why I think humans will survive all the fuckups of this world.)

And so it goes. The wrecker charges us $300 to move us 10 feet, but it’s worth it. Being a strong believer in karma, I pay the bill, even though it’s the driver’s problem. Word of advice: Never, ever, be cheap. If you are have a good gig, never–ever–forget the people who are just scraping by. 

You wanna know how I make good money? I give it away.