I’ve been asked what I’m allergic to. The more accurate question is probably “what am I not allergic to?” I had an allergy test when I was a kid, and I believe the report ran to something like five pages of single-spaced type. If it’s on this earth, and non man-made, I’m probably allergic to it, at least at some level.

The big hitter is tree nuts (not peanuts). Walnuts, pecans, cashews, etc will all put me into anaphylaxis. The only thing that will stop that reaction is massive amounts of liquid Benedryl and a shot of Epinephrine (adrenaline). Epinephrine is the only drug that will stop Anaphylactic shock (which I was in).

I’m also sensitive to eggs and milk. For example, I can’t handle raw eggs. If I do, I have to wash my hands right away (if I touch my eye it will swell shut). The “sensitive” part means they bother me, but not in a life threatening way. If I start feeling “itchy” (hives, sensation of itchiness in the ears), one of two pills of Benedryl will stop it.

In many cases, people have problems with their airways constricting. Obviously, this is very dangerous as you can’t be without oxygen for more than three minutes. For me, it’s not an airway issue, it’s a blood pressure issue.

What happens is that I go into vasodilation, which means that the blood vessels pretty much open wide up, leading to massive drops in BP (hence the 50/30 BP readings). The effect is almost instantaneous unconsciousness–blurred vision at periphery, then tunnel vision (black in periphery), then out. That takes about 20 seconds, start to finish. The event I had on Saturday was the fastest ever–even if I had my Epipen, I would not have time to use it.

What saved me? Well, Evelyn being there, mainly. She knew of my condition, she knew that I was already leery of the food (delicious but dangerous), and she knew that I carried my MedicAlert card (along with a neck chain, which, of course, I wasn’t wearing that day). That helped the medics to quickly hone in on a root cause. This is critical, as someone in my condition may have been a heart attack or stroke victim, and they would have been leery of pumping a person with that much adrenaline. It’s only when they saw the card and the “Caries Epipen” on it that they felt comfortable giving the shot.

As for asking restaurants about ingredients: don’t bother. Most of them have no idea what goes into the food, or you’ll be there all day asking about this and that. And even if you choose a “safe” dish, there is nothing to prevent cross contamination.

My rule of thumb is to be leery of places that use nuts heavily, even in other dishes. Examples of this would be the general categories of Thai, Indian, and Middle-Eastern. All use tree nuts quite a bit. I also never, ever, eat desserts in restaurants. Even something simple like a cheesecake (which I’m allergic to, but love) could have a crushed nuts in the crust. Same thing for icecream–I never go to those “creamery” places because there is too much of a nut cross-contamination risk.

The allergies have a positive result, though. They got me to learn a lot about food, and are probably the reason I got into cooking. I had to know what was in dishes, so I could know what was likely to be safe.

If you have an allergy that could cause anaphylaxis I’d recommend four things:

(1) Get a MedicAlert dogtag and card. Always wear the tag, always keep the card in a visible part of your wallet. That card helped save my life. (The card is also helpful to carry, in addition to the dogtag, because it can hold more information. For example, mine lists all the medicines I take.

(2) Carry an Epipen. This is way easier said than done, since they are temperature sensitive. They can’t get cold and they can’t get hot, so you can’t leave them in the car. Also, they are bulky tube, so you can’t put them in your pocket unless you want to look like you have a constant errection. I wish there was a better way, but the auto-injector is the only safe way to self-administer the Epinephrine.

(3) Demonstrate use of the Epipen. I was out so fast that I could not have used mine even if I had it on me. Evelyn would have had to inject me. Due to the large amount of adrenaline involved, it has to be injected into the thick part of the thigh muscle. Lucky for me, the fire station was a mile away, and the paramedics got there quickly.

(4) Know your allergies. I knew that I was at risk in this restaurant (I even took a preventative Benedryl before eating), but I had eaten there before, so didn’t think anything would go too horribly wrong. Why take the risk at all? Well, because I’m allergic to just about everything to some degree. A guy’s gotta eat. It’s all about managing risk. This time I didn’t do a good job, because I went with a sampler plate, which contained a bunch of different stuff–it’s hard to tell which one did me in. I’m thinking chickpeas, since I’ve had problems before with them. It could have also been a nut flour, which is often used as a thickener. I’m going to get an updated allergy test to confirm or deny this.

The killer joke, as Evelyn would say, is that a nice vegetarian restaurant did me in. Yet another reason to shun being a vegan. I’m allergic to a boatload of vegetable products, but I’ve never been hurt by meat. Heck, my formula as a baby was all meat-base. All hail the cow, pig, lamb, chicken, and turkey. You are both delicious and safe to eat.