You want to improve this country? Let’s re-introduce a concept that seems to have disappeared: Competence.

I’m not talking about Above Average. I’m not talking Rock Star. I’m not talking Genius. I just want simple competence.

• I get my medicines in the mail. Every piece of paper has my new address, which is the only address I put on the paperwork, EXCEPT the refill order form, which has my old address. (Weeks after I updated my address with the insurance carrier.) How is this possible?
• Of course, Mrs Nelson, we cancelled the cable for the old address. You won’t get any more bills. What do I get? A charge on my credit card and a new bill — still going to the old address.
• The postal service which seems to believe that they only have to forward about 20% of my mail. First class letter? Maybe it will be forwarded, maybe not. Magazines? About 30% forwarded, the rest in limbo.
• Speaking of addresses, I did 90% of my changes on 12/6. I’m still getting magazines to the old place. Do they really have this stuff bound and labeled 45 days in advance? Why does it take “8 to 10 weeks” for the change to take effect? Why does the USPS stop forwarding magazines after 8 weeks when the magazines themselves can’t switch over that fast?
• Updated equipment insurance policy with new address. Get new policy at old address.
• Get refund check for homeowners policy. No reason attached. Did they cancel instead of changing address? Another call to make.
• My insurance login for my Illinois policy goes to my old Texas policy. Another call. And because of HIPAA, I’ve got to sit on the phone so that a male voice can recite my birthdate. That’s security! (HIPAA, like SOX, is nothing but make-work and time-wasting.)
• After three years I finally change one of my unused credit cards from my parent’s address to our new one. I spend, literally, a half hour setting up the online account. A week later I get a letter in the mail that the account has been closed due to inactivity.
• I sign up for paperless auto-deductions for a charity. Every month I get a statement thanking me for my donation, a letter, and an envelope. So much for my funds being used well.
• We need to swap out your power meter, but will give you no notice at all. Need to schedule a time? Well, that will put you on a three month waiting list, and even then we can only tell you that it will happen “within two days” — no time, just “it will happen sometime”.

The really scary thing? This isn’t a collection of things over a long period of time. This is a collection of fuckups from the last month alone! And I’m sure I’m leaving out a bunch that I’ve tried to forget.

Update: Evelyn is at the cable company now, and they swear up and down that they didn’t charge us, even though Evelyn is holding a printout from the AMEX site showing the charge.

I give up.